So after MONTHS of low productivity and feeling icky about myself and my future as an artist I put on my new running shoes and went to the gym, I immediately started to feel better about myself and as I was running on the treadmill it hit me: I am an artist, a living breathing artist - I can do whatever the hell I want!!
I realized that subconsciously I have been stressing about what others think of my work: Why am I not getting into competitions, I worked so hard? What do they want from me? What is the art world looking for? Why isn't my work good enough for the big bad art world? Why am I not getting recognized? All of those thoughts were poisoning my mind and my desire and even energy to be creative and express myself and paint - and even write! Because why would I want to express myself just to be burnt down by a lack of recognition. Yes, I walked into this life after my four years of BA Fine Arts with starry eyed resolve and reality hit me like a plank in the face.
But then, out of the blue, I sold another one of my paintings, through The State of the Art online art gallery, and during that time I was working on an exam project about the Spanish artist Joan Miró and that was a turning point for me because, in one of the readings I had to do, I read:
"Persistence is absolutely fundamental, since creative people typically experience repeated rejection because of their tendency to push the limits and to perceive things in a new way"(Nancy C. Andreasen, 1996)
That was just, wow, I mean nothing could hit closer to home for me at this point. It still took a little while but two days ago, on that treadmill, I thought to myself I really just want to take a sharpie and play around on a canvas, and then play with paint and who knows what else, I just want to draw and paint and play, and I don't care what "THEY" say, or think or whatever ("they" being the leaders, critics, judges, rulers in general, of the art world). I want to be ME again. Without limitation. So I started working on something completely different from my "known" style, because I wanted to. I'm not famous yet, I can do whatever I want! And I'm having a blast! So to all aspiring young artists who are also struggling to get recognition and "make it", remember Persistence is key, we cannot give up, it might just take a while for people to catch up to our way of seeing the world and expressing it on canvas, or paper, or what have you. It does NOT mean you are not good enough. You are. They just don't get it yet. But don't make that stop you from creating.
xOXo
xOXo
