Monday 31 August 2015

Experiencing a Quarter Life Crisis as an Artist

Anybody else going through their quarter life crisis at the moment? 

25 going on 26... 

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I found this article, and went "hey that's me!" - okay I don't relate to ALL of it, per say, but most of them hit me close to home, like on my couch eating my cereal close to home. Then, I found this article of cures for the quarter life crisis, and I must admit I did find most of it legit, I definitely feel inspired to try some out. Oh and can I just say, yes, it is TOTALLY like my life is buffering right now. And I am NOT one for patience with slow wifi connections, you know what I'm saying? 

From here

BUT, an artist, though, I feel there should be a whole other list that is directed at us. Creatives in quarter life crisis. Cause basically it goes something like this:

YAY!!! I got my art degree, I SURVIVED!! WOOHOO! Oh shit, I need a job. But I want to just paint, painting is all I want to do. This world is so unfair, why can't I just paint, why do I need money, why! I need money. Not just for food and basic survival, but for canvasses and paint and supplies so I can keep my painting dream alive. Hmmm. I want to help people through my art, SO BADLY, I want to make enough to not only survive and fuel my painting but to give away. Okay, make that long term goal. Ok you are just starting out at your job so it barely pays anything, I don't even qualify to pay taxes. Which is kinda a win. But not, cause it means I barely have enough to buy new canvasses - have you seen the prices of paint these days?! Maybe if I lived on only two-minute-noodles for a few months... mmmm. Oh, LOOK at this cool new recipe! I must try it! Dammit. Slowly put away money every month, eventually it will be a lot. I am working so hard and I don't make time to paint or write. This is not good. You should. Go do that. Why are you holding yourself back. Winter sucks. It was cold. Artists don't make excuses. Yes, they don't. Why are you holding yourself back. I feel like a wind up toy, that's going to explode. I wish I could go to the beach, I want to go say hi to the big blue ocean. I want to go hike up a mountain. Oh crap I have a deadline. How is there so much dust on my paint tubs? Wait it's the end of August - wait, WHAT? I wish I could have a studio space, where my stuff can stay where they belong, without being packed away by a cleaning lady every week. Looks for studio spaces online, Fuck. I don't have that kind of money. Okay, well one day when I can afford a house I'll make my studio in one of the rooms. Long term goal. Ok, so what now?? Stop holding yourself back. I want to paint, but it's gonna take an hour to set up my space like I want it and then something's gonna distract me cause that happens. Set up, oh the cleaning lady is coming, pack everything neatly so she doesn't hide it away where you will never find it again, I swear she has a key to Narnia. Maybe I should draw? 

You get the gist. SO I've thought of a few things to do to break free from this predicament, or at least break free from feeling so powerless and confused in the midst of the predicament. Also, so we can truly LIVE in this time of our lives where we feel, like, stuck in a midway between who we were whilst studying and who we are becoming. It's a weird time, I think it necessary for us to embrace it. So here goes: 

1) Find a cause - if your favourite isn't nearby, find another one close by. I recently discovered the Santa Shoebox Project - and I am PSYCHED. I love giving gifts. Preparing gifts. Choosing gifts. Thinking of ways to make gifts super special. And it is for kids. To help them and bring them some kindness and love and smiles to their faces. Click here if you would like to find out more and become a supporter - pledging starts 1 September! They even have a dope Pinterest page to help you with creative, affordable ideas! I think one day it will be a perfect way to teach my kids the true meaning of Christmas, not receiving but giving, bringing joy to another person's life. Helping out those less fortunate than you are. I will probably have to be restrained in order NOT to spend all my money dollars on this! 

More awesome (South African based) good causes you can go support: - CANSA - The Sunflower Fund - CHOC - See Saw Do - LIV Village - The Haven Night Shelter - Kids Haven

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2) Visual Journal - I have a pile of books that are like visual representations of who I was each year of studying fine arts. It is insane. They hold hundreds of images that caught my attention and interest at that point in my life. Looking at them now, I see that they helped me make sense of my feelings, helped me organise my thoughts and creative ideas and they helped me grow. Why did I ever stop? Print out everything that inspires you. Stick it in a book. Write down why these images and things make you feel something. Keep adding to this book. This book is your way to finding yourself wherever you may be at this point in your life. 

3) Go take a walk. Not even a jog. Just a walk. Even if it is just in and around the garden, but preferably somewhere out of your usual comfort zone. Botanical gardens are great.  

Victoria Street, Stellenbosch, Circa June 2015
Photograph by San-Marí van Wyk
University of Stellenbosch Botanical Gardens
My favourite place to linger, Circa June 2015
Photograph by San-Marí van Wyk

4) Don't hold yourself back. If you don't understand this, I have no idea how to explain it. Is it fear of success, or fear of failure. I have no clue. But there is times where I feel a physical block in my chest. It keeps me from greatness. And it must die. I think the only way this can happen is if you push through the pain, start when you can't, find time when there really is no time, pick yourself up every new day and make. it. happen. There is no magical quick fix to get over this. There is only your deep burning passion, that fire inside of you that is screaming to get unleashed. Feed it. Feed that fire. Let it burn down all the obstacles you create for yourself.

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5) Write down your dreams and goals, don't forget about them in the midst of the fact that you can't achieve them right this minute, per say. Keep track of them. See them grow and evolve. I mean, I've changed my mind about a gazillion times since I got my degree, regarding what I want to do with my life, right now and in future. The main goals remain the same, but the how seems to be quite flexible at times. But it is OK to change your mind at this age, I believe. You are 25. Sure there are people at this age who seem to have it all figured out. But that's there story. And you need to meditate on where you want to make a difference in this world, and how you are going to go about achieving that. The means may change, there are more than one road leading to any given destination. And it is not wrong to want to change lanes, every now and then. You actually need to do this till you find where you are comfortable. And if the lane you are in is making you car sick and you feel you are going to crash - you are ultimately unhappy with everything about it - take the next turn off. Do whatever it takes, how ever long it takes to reach the place where you feel you are making a difference and where you feel "THIS is friggen AWESOME". Even if it is a long term plan, and is taking long. Be patient. Don't give up. Point is, write down, keep track. Don't be closed minded. You are talented in more than one way. Opportunity may come in unexpected ways. Nurture your different talents, discover new ones and grow into a multidimensional human you can be proud of. 

6) Get your hands DIRTY - Oh, nothing can beat this one. Getting your hands dirty (think messy painting, sticking stuff down using your hands, building something with your hands, the whole nine) is a surefire way to get your creative juices flowing. Put life on hold and just emerge yourself, physically, in the act of creative expression. Get involved with every part of your being. Have FUN. Cross the lines. Make new rules. Be it just in your visual journal, or with your work of art. Go all in, and it will reward you. Mind, body and soul.
The aftermath of good times in my studio, 2013
The aftermath of good times in my studio, 2013
The aftermath of good times in my studio, 2013
7) Relax, life is happening all around you, you don't have to have it all figured out yet. You are an ever changing, ever growing, magical being. Take a breathe, and experience life even if it isn't what you expected it to be at the age you are right now. Take time to figure out what you don't like, what you do like, what you want out of life, what you want out of now, who and what do you see staring back at you in the mirror. Love that person for who they are, even if they aren't who you want to be yet. And, I repeat, it is OK to change your mind. What good is a mind if you can't change it? Breathe in, Breathe out.
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Do you have another favourite cause? Or some good advise for kicking quarter life crisis to the curb, as an artist (or other human being, of course)? Let me know in the comments! 

xOXo







Friday 22 May 2015

A note to myself... and to all the creatives (and everyone else, actually):



Time is not a friend. It slips by when we aren't paying attention. There's that old piece of lyric going "Life is what happens when you're making other plans" (or something), but I think it's more like "Life is what happens when you aren't paying attention" or "when you get distracted". Life just keeps happening. Are you living it? If you were to disappear now, what is your legacy? If I disappeared, I hope what would be left is a pile of sparkles. Everyone who knows me would understand that sentiment. I would want there to be enough to go around for everyone I love and care for to have a little bit. To help them. How many paintings would you have left unfinished? How many dreams unfulfilled? Did you finish that vision that has been stuck in your head for months? Why do we take life for granted? Do we not get that there is just.one. Length unknown.


Added, we won't be able to do everything we can do right.now throughout the whole of our lives. Maybe we will be able to do more, maybe we will lose certain aspects of ourselves. Change is the only constant. Until your time's up. We never know when that is. So have you done what you wanted to do? Tomorrow never comes. You only ever have different Today's. I think we ignore this like many other facts in life.




Is it that we think it makes life easier to ignore the hard things? Cause, does it really? Or are we just screwing ourselves over in the long run... 

Along with your daily obligations, don't forget to follow your most wildest dreams and be truly happy and LIVE your life, before you wake up and you realise there's no more time.






Thursday 5 February 2015

Don't forget to live the life TODAY that you will remember tomorrow

Time goes by SO fast. Days trickle by like rain drops, one by one, till you have an ocean of memories from the past... which is gone now. Hold on to the wonderful people, who make you smile, who put a smile on your face and excitement in your chest. I miss my friends, I miss allnighters in our tiniest filled-with-the-smell-of-my-5L-glue-tubs-and-her-stopmotionanimation-sets-and-EVERYTHING art studio with the craziest loveliest fuzz ball beautiful girl with the longest hair and the most beautiful brown eyes. I miss those times we climbed the trees at Tuks and at my Dad's house on my birthday.... Remember that time we almost DIED trying to be good and go to a gallery... when I still had the pink bakkie, HA. Remember the cold nights at AfricaBurn and that time before we really knew each other when I helped you to the doctor because no one else thought it necessary yet you were HALF DEAD! I'm glad you made it. You made my life more complete. I miss you SO MUCH.

We moved to Somerset West 29 December 2014. My bubblewrapped paintings are gathering dust at my Dad's house back in the Vaal. So I bought a new canvas recently. After settling in, finding my feet. Started a new job! It is really awesome. But everyone back home keeps asking, "Are you still painting?" and saying "Promise you won't stop painting!".... I never intended to, but time goes by SO fast. And it's been months already. Good thing I started again. I drew, I need to add some paint now. I never even got to finish my last painting. Hopefully my Mom can bring it when they bring down most of our stuff with the big move coming up end February. I love the photo of my new piece in the setting sun. Was probably around 8ish, since that is when it is dusk down here in Summer. Don't let this one gather dust San-Marí.

My uncle sent me the most thoughtful picture I'd like to share with you - I think every artist would appreciate seeing this message at one point or another in their lives as artists:


Don't stop. Even for a second. Okay, even for a day. Paint or draw or be creative, every.day. Or you might wake up to find weeks and months have past. Time is a trickster. It takes ages to get by when we are little children - before we wipe our eyes we are adults (25 anyone?), we moved to a new city, without our Mom and Dad and Grandparents and friends.... we start new jobs and live our lives - don't neglect that vital part of you, your creative spirit, don't let it gather dust, don't get too busy to do what you've dreamt of since you were a little kid, because when you wink you will be old and epic and mostly you will be living on the memories of the people who aren't close by anymore and the things you used to love to do and you will wonder why it's been so long since you've done them. "Nothing lasts forever". Don't forget to live the life TODAY that you will remember tomorrow. Don't forget to paint. And call your Grandma to say I love you.